mysterious outcome

odessa poured tons of liquid in the bowl the size of a whale and contemplated at the recipe her master, the witch she was studying under, wanted to make for the eve of hallow. it bubbled like the ragged pattern of breathing after running 5 miles of hill. what could the witch be brewing she asked herself as she half carried the bucket to the other end of the room with a make shift basin of instant refilling water fountain.

she had hoped that one day she might gut a frog or preserve lizzard brains, instead she was assigned to a really impotent woman with no fun to be with and no morbidity in mind. just the utter disgusting stuff like handling slimes, troll boogger, alot of blood and mud samples, a few trips to poo land. the usual things a witch who specializes in potions would do. but potions she didn't do much with gutting or cutting, just mixing and brewing.

still mixing this mysterious thing she didn't know what was all that occupied her and who knows what it might be.

Post of sketching

So far i've had less to discuss of my story (webcomics) in this world because of work so here's a head's up sketch update just to keep tabs of my progress, so far Act 1.1 (part1 of Act 1) has ended.

Not that much clear but the upper most left is the latest addition, start of Act 1.2 Totally took me longer than I intended it to be done.

So far Act 1.2 script is getting mossed over from the lack of attention i've been giving it the past few months since the time it was finished.

In any case right now i'm happy to say that i have made the story drag much longer than i had expected, having no story to start with and always end up starting from scratch seems to be such a non methodical and long process that right now i'm feeling the habit of mine self happen. I easily get tired of one thing... soon i'd be shifting my attention from another. Yet it has not come, and I don't intended for it to come.

So. Now. I'm focusing in making the sketches for my friends oneshot comics, which would be sold in this October Komikon

hey look TPB is in the poster... building... whatever LOLOL

Yep I'm part of the group TPB (The Plurkian Brotherhood) who had such a huge ass luck during the Indieket con in the raffle to get a spot for the upcoming October Komikon. Definitely an unexpected thing hehehehe.

Therefore i have to do better with these guys:

It's a bunch of tree's and a town... not the finished version still...

Now off to just making some stuff for my comics. Sister has just arrived... well off to complaining about my life on the other side (socialllllllllll...)

Here's the preview of the latest page for Scene8

The picture definitely made sure that it's not going to be a spoiler to anyone interested LOLOL

Thus ends thy post for now and soon will just update myself with any progress I will make in the future.

MissingDoorKnocker

burst of whatever

heeeeere we go now... oh wait i told myself not to put titles on anything that's just blindly about emotional stuff in real life? hahahaha well, this might be an exception in any case this might not be relevant to anything but just a recount of my escapades for the past few months since i've missed updating here in this blog... oh dear meeee

since the last time i remember i had passed two animation stints that i felt like i won't be doing anytime soon in the future, have finished the part 1 of my webcomics and am on to the second part wishing i still had the time or the free time to do it, have a new job that's draining my system but am glad to take it on but is now immersed in the world of people and their desires for a better lifestyle feeling a little wee left out for being unprogressive when it comes to desiring a thing in life... i bet my desires aren't entirely normal for their standards... too idealistic fufufufufu, oh had tons of new friends, launching in a world of disaster thank you... have friends on constant verge of hormonal imbalance and emotional turmoil...

(oops i just made an ass of myself again by being a smarty pants and egotistical at this moment... hahahaha... ha *scratchhead* there must be a reason why i'm allergic to existence)

Stuff... they always happen, being busy all the time with personal and slightly personal stuff... it's making me think the doom is coming sooner than expected... so constant vigilance is needed... even against a peace torn country... or era... or something...

now all i can think of is which of which is supposed to be done first... argh... *sigh*

and *sigh of relief* i thought i was going perpetually irrational, i was wrong... i just can't breathe well still...

been busy yosh yosh, but now i must make myself into an emo and obediently post about my emotions like it's the biggest deal in the entire universe ever created...

since... i have been busy with life and work currently i haven't updated anything in my online life... i don't even know if it sucks or not... i mean, before i've got all the time in the world, i could access my friends that i couldn't reach...

now all i have is this yearning...

*looksupfordrama*

it would be nice... if i'm the type of person who can positively be sociable, but i'm partly shy... it's a sad excuse...

finally getting that chance

if i said that i wouldn't try and print this comics out as an indie, i was probably bluffing that time or something. because now in almost one months time... goodness i'm going to sell it in a convention. i'm completely uncertain... i'm even making an effort of going to make a stuff toy to sell for that day. *siiiiiiiigh* i'm quite uncertain truly, but on another note i have begun to watch and download recorded musical plays~~

fancy, fancy~~

hahahaha, i couldn't quite grasp it honestly, but i wanted to watch Into the Woods again. i remember that i once had watched the play with my cousins theatre group, well that was years ago in her older sisters era of being a member of the group. i think it was the first play that made me sink deeper in fascination with fantasy. but i doubt i understood the play before hahahaha although now i completely understand the content of the songs, it's lovely, and funny~~

but musicals are good working music to work with~~~

anyway back to the comics, i've already begun preparations for the printed version. i hope i could print it cheaply? or sell it properly... i wish it would sell out... i wish the toys we sell would be bought by a lot of people... *sigh*

oh well... nothing to gain anything if we thought like this, if it doesn't... let's hope for the best of it... AND the next time would be even better~~~

that awesome moment+short story

when you realize that you've got tons of things done in the past few days and those personal vendetta claimed projects are straggling you're time to just rest when actually you aren't really that busy since in between those moments you were "doing" something you had the time to take a breather and read something else... no that's not what this article would really be about.

it's just i'm placid these days and so many things, uncertain, undecided, quite frankly i dunno if it can be non-dodged but personally i can try and find a way to solve them...

for one my plan on my webcomics Children of the Eternal Spring, well i'm planning on making a print version of it AND translated into our native language for the next comics convention or any convention if possible... although i am uncertain of any possible audience it's still worth a try... anyway the guts to push through thinking of it as an idea came to me just last week or so, but i am still unsure of what kind of arrangements i shall make of the pages and the order of the scenarios, will i keep the scenario titles... stuff like that... anyway it's a standing idea that i'm quietly putting aside for awhile as i push through finishing the first part of Act1 and the designs for part2.

and while were on the stand of ideas i'm currently man handling my own ability to think of ideas by purposefully forcing a new comics which i am excited to draft if only i could remember slash be inspired enough to continue until finishing... augh...

i think i'm frustrated, not stressed enough to be sickly thin i mean i'm as chubby as ever~

so it's just a thought lingering... but these ideas... i have to take them one step at a time... and it pains me to just... i feel quite stupidly selfish typing on and on about these stuff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before Alice in Wonderland

the doors to his room has never felt so intimidating in his entire life, though Chimpancey, also known as Chim to anyone who knew him, knew he needed to stand up from his bed sooner or later still his dead panned shame wanted him plastered on that very spot forever. scratching his head out of frustration and annoyance to his own sad broken hearted demise. yes, to any friend he knew will know and probably have forgotten, he is broken hearted again. the sun trickled a few drops of sunshine on his window as it slowly turned into a quiet sunset.

rubbing his thin pale elbows, free from any darkening or callousing from being used as a head stand or any use too long, thinking that spot needed a scratch because it was imaginarily itchy. his mind wandered at his embarrassing situation-slash-accident-slash- he wanted it but couldn't have the guts to properly do what ever the out come maybe but alas the out come was bitter and couldn't accept it, adding a couple of bullying and insult added salt to injury moment, he couldn't help but feel his own eyes begin to water from the sheer fact of his own... bad luck.

what had he done to deserve such a fate, was his insignificantly demeaning question to his own fate. did he torture hundreds of fly's since his childhood to deserve such a cruel joke played upon him to his emotions, mind you he had not like flies since then for being too annoying for his taste. never the less, he still did not deserve to be blatantly shamed and doubly smacked with a rejection in front of a million children from across the district. in fact that was no joke.

seeing this week was an annual inter-school competition, between at least four school who were all public schools and quite impressively been occupied heavily by thousands of students. so basically a million would have been an exaggerated blow-up but he could probably multiply all the eyes by two and will probably get that much witness.

it wasn't the most perfect plan in the world but he couldn't bear it. you see he heard she was being courted by a guy he deemed un worthy of her, he was "in love" with this girl, Cassa, she was called by most. prettiest angel he could have ever laid his eyes on, lovely hair, luscious lips, all that fancy remarks of someone blearily infatuated physique wise. simply took his breath away the first time he saw her, double it with her nice compliments and those moments she defended him from bullies. well he wasn't exactly such a very stand-offish boy.

he was a kind of albino of the school with the height of a 10 year old kid in the body of a 14 yr old, he was hoping he would still grow. sadly though this was an enough reason for him to be badly treated by "the higher" kids plus with his kind of cowardice like attitude and almost unique looks of being boyishly girlie. he couldn't be helped but dubbed as a girly wimp or a shrimpy albino. he didn't like it the least but he was glad he was at most specially if Cassa was around.

obviously sometimes he thinks he abuses his frailty just to be someone Cassa would defend, stupid as it may seem. but he had no choice, inside him he was afraid to fight back. too good to be true though when it kicked in, his chivalrous side, when he found out her suitor was that one bully who always made a good smack of his face every phys. ed. time. he hated the guy, loathed him for mocking his height and frailty, although in honesty he hated himself but thats just partially beside the point.

no man can make a move on the purest girl he's ever encountered, and thats when he stupidly decided. yes, ladies and gentlemen clap your hands at the worst suitor in this side of the world. he decided to ask her to be his girlfriend even though he hadn't even established his very ground in her life even as a friend, but of course like all sadly idiotic characters in a story, this very fact haven't established in his mind yet. rather it would have been best if it this idea had stuck in his head in the first place but no, selfish of course not wanting to emotionally hurt himself first.

too bad this act cost him at least 8 lives out of his 8 because he had asked her out but she was already contemplating on being el-bully suitors girl friend, of course the girl isn't to blame for if she found something to love to the boy our little Chim found his foul existence offensive. so finding a completely huge wall and hit it hard with a splat, also a dead end, he tried reasoning with her. she had her reasons. he tried reasoning harder. she found this completely offensive but still in the politest manner she rejected him.

saying how flattered she was to be liked by him but she only found sympathy for him. again reminding you his bad luck was really conniving to such a destructive manner, bully saw this rejection happen. way to go Cassa for rejecting a poor boy and confessing unconsciously to the man your heart belonged, give her a round of applause. depressingly no applause could be hear into Chims side of story as besides being rejected feeling bitter, he tried fighting off bully boy.

honestly not the most advisable thing in the world clearly. so yes at this point you could have guessed what happened next, everyone saw he was a sore loser. paling as white as a sheet of paper he ran home weeping at his loss, or at least trying to not bawl.

a soft knock resounded to his ears and in came his mother, who looked quite like him in a manner of speaking, which he liked and hated at the same time. her face the complete painting of concern for her favoured child.

"what's wrong?" came the practiced question of mothers. "is my son alright?" she asked again, patting him on his cold forehead.

smiling at his mothers warm hands he nodded in reply to her, even though his eyes screamed the answer 'no i'm not really, can't you even see that fact mother?'

"okay," she said, sounding a little down, to this he winced inwardly. "your brother wants to know if you've finished your assignment, he told me he'd gladly teach you today if you haven't. in fact he's planning on bringing you to the library." she told him with a little twinkle of hope to cheer him up.

he couldn't quite grasp why her mother couldn't accept the fact that him spending his time being taught by his brother would never make him happy. in fact it would probably just make him completely frustrated. not to mention in his mind he knew why his brothers bringing him to the library, it was that student teacher he was trying to impress, again. snorting at this his mother must have perceived this as a comply for she sat up clapping her hands and murmuring something he couldn't understand.

sitting up, dreading the out come of that misinterpretation. in came his older brother with a quirked brow and an unmistakable smirk before rising from his bed shaking his head.

" really? the library? i thought i'd never see the day that i'd be inside that weird place. you know you'll never get that teacher." he told him as he wore his olive green, knee length, coat.

"honestly, is that really what you think of your brother. well come on bring your things, we don't have all day." he said tapping his wrist watch.

Chim rolled his eyes as he concluded that the teacher must have an aloted time in the library and he's chasing after her before it's too late.

arriving finally, to Chim's glee and his brothers frown, they didn't make it in time. the student-teacher his brother had his eyes on, along with her fellow trainees, had already left. leaving his brother no choice.

"tsk, damn. i was hoping i could ask her out again today. that last date wasn't enough for me." he scratched his head as he watched a kid with blonde-half-sky blue hair walk by, cocking his brow at this he turned to his tiny brother. "well i guess i should leave you here. if i can beat time i can catch her before she reaches her house." he said facing the other way around to run.

before Chim could even say anything his brother had ran leaving the tiny thing standing on a wonderfully nice evening sky. he looked around him feeling a little begrudged and lost before his eyes landed on the library doors. would he dare? he thought to himself. never fond of books nor the idea of the ever lulling feeling reading. eyes beginning to adjust to the growing dimness, he sprinted in the library doors and opened it.

entering this unknown domain of written words of whatever they might be. he looked around thinking of something to do and quite frankly inwardly embarrassed at the complete and utter silence of the place. he was quite used to a hustle and bustle type of crowd, he sprinted to a corner of the library that didn't consist of anyone reading on the floor or whispered discussions on the table.

hurrying his feet to find that spot he could call his own. he tip toed to a corner on the second floor and saw a spot unoccupied, also quite dim and possibly looking pretty dusty and unwelcome corner. he looked around to see if anyone was watching and sat gingerly onto a spot.

after settling for a few minutes he looked up and found a book about a very nicely illustrated volume of Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. wondering what the pictures looked like he pulled the heavy book from its place and scanned through it carefully. while scanning through the pages, touching it's yellow worn pages it suddenly dawned to him at how calming it felt to touch the pages of the book.

smelling the emitting old age of the book he had on his lap he couldn't stop but think about what had happened before, about his feeling of utter distress about his so called rejection in par to the end of the world. maybe, in a really deep thought, it wasn't anyones fault. looking back, he didn't really try making such an impression to her for her to like him. oh finally the idea has struck him.

everything from then on, hard as it is to swallow, was his own fault. he had deliberately dug up his own hole to die on even before he knew it. is that how impulsive he was at being loved or impressing a girl. for that he might blame the fact that at some point to prove his manliness, since he did look like a wimpy frail girl for a boy of fourteen, he need a woman he can love. not like he wasn't being loved properly by his mother, no that is a completely different thing.

something about just being impressed by a kind girl, a beauty at that, just makes him crumble and become a completely even worse wimp. rolling his eyes at this thought, he suddenly laughed out loud at this thought. eyes watering at the sides from an idea, god knows why he laughed. a loud shush came to his left, where he came from, and found himself face to face with a quite stern looking face. he knew her name was Mrs. Tad, he didn't care if he ever met her, but now he should probably. now that she looked quite stern.

"excuse me young boy, mind you. i know reading can quite make us feel alot of emotions. but do please keep it to our selves now." she said as her stern face broke into a very warm smile, he swore made his little boy heart melt with such motherly love, although it was still evident that her sternness was intact with in her voice.

couldn't help being pulled into it, he smiled back at her sheepishly and nodded. she nodded back acknowledging his earnest compliance and went back to whatever she was doing. watching her back disappear he giggled to himself then found his eyes back to the book he held. it was a good thing this library went on until the wee hours of the night or else he would have been still sulking.

suddenly realizing a quick change of lightness in his once bereaved heart, he wondered if the library was some kind of magic for making him feel, if for no better word, better. blinking, he suddenly found himself immersed, surprisingly, at the wonderfully queer world of Alice in Wonderland.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

well hope you enjoyed this entry, the character is actually another character from another short story, this one is like a prequel of some sorts to it entitled Untimely Library. eventually this one story doesn't have a trace of fantasy or msytery in it, but Untimely Library, the original story has. so enjoy~

just going to ramble a little wee bit here... i should completely reconsider the idea of blogging... it's becoming like a diary, the kind that people shouldn't be exactly reading... but i'm already used to typing in it... since i do feel the vibes that no one will read unimportant rambles from it...

on the other hand i shall announce... PAMAGAT OTL'S TUMBLR SITE *prerecorded crowd cheer plus applause* anyway it's going to be an art blog dump dedicated to the details of the OTL projects~

and as i said this entry will be a ramble so not much posting of linksies...

but i just feel completely exhausted for some reason, is it about that email i want to send to oh no manga about the anthology series, i wanted to inquire first about specifying the procedures but i have this other thought of just sending the required stuff they... listed... although i will not loose anything by sending it in... i still feel like i want to clarify something about their procedures cause at some point i feel like they have made me feel vague...

or is it the fact that i have this dampening depression that seems to come out of nowhere... although i don't feel that sad or unsatisfied... or sad... or grumpy, or... i'm doing my page work for the webcom... it's just...

i tried my hand on water colour, the actual water colour, again today... i still have it but i'm as slow as i used to be, which feels like a bad thing for me... it shows that i didn't grow that much since the last time i planted that seed... i guess maybe that's whats making me frustratedly... bored? *pinch nose bridge*

i don't really know if this kind of thing should even be shared or discussed with anyone *exasperated flinging of arms*... but in my mind it's not big of a deal to be discussed heart to heart to... to anyone in particular...

the wedding invites lolol

hallu hahahaha, i've been commissioned by my sister to design her invite for her wedding next year and here's a tiny peek... well actually this si what the invite would look like... if it's laid flat. it's some kind of three fold invite that's a wee bit smaller than the size of a short bond. i'm quite satisfied with this. in fact... i kept on giggling through out the process... no it's not because of the word "kilig" the meaning of my giggle is like a hihihi type of laugh... i mean what the fuck essence. i don't really do stuff like this but it's cutsie cutsie and i'm trying not to really laugh that hard... because it's cutsie cutsie... hahahahahaha

anyway onto some self update, PamagatOTL will have i's chance of debut in komikon, hoping for this november. also a new title named Openended, specially made for komikon here, here.

also paused MDKP for this OTL oh please my baby komiks forgive me~~~

Martin the Warrior

no this might not be a kind of review, but will just be a tiny post about my sentiments to Martins story before he founded the Abbey. good lourd i never knew my prayers would be heard someday when i wished that i could discover atleast that Martin will have a love interest. but sad to say sir Brian Jacques just broke my heart by killing her in the end. *weeps*

still it never stopped me from appreciating her existence, this just proves that for once Martin the Warrior was destined to be with someone his heart ached for, well aside from the aching for justice, sadly it may seem that another life time might be needed for them to meet again.

i do believe that the hero from the book Redwall is the reincarnation of this great mouse warrior, if i remember his name was Mattimeo? goodness it has been, what? two years or three years ago since i bought the first book Sir Brian Jacques has authored and since that point until now i have never been so glad in my entire life to have stumbled upon it. i don't care if it sounds like his books are for adolescent or young readers, i still like them!!!

but i couldn't really prove it since i don't live in their world. anyway i need to check again on the list of books of the Redwall series since i need to know which ones i still don't have or will be eager to look for. although i have already had my eyes on the title Tuggerung, i regret not buying it the same time as the Martin the Warrior when i passed by Booksale.

on wards to a public update of my life, currently multitasking on things such as comment/editing of the comics of my friend. currently willing to volunteer myself into making her background artist so that she wouldn't be bothered by making backgrounds anymore. not a poor thing, it's just that she seems to have trouble with making backgrounds. but my proposal is still on hold... well just because.

next is update of my comics Children of the Eternal Spring: Missing Door Knocker update. so far i haven't left off Scene 5. |||OTL good lourd.

anyway a little more patience and we'll come to the end of this arc now~~

Goldilocks and that one dead bear

lo and behold my latest hobby doodle... Goldilocks and that one bear... sorry i don't have the genius knack to title it much better than... that... anyway i posted it in my art tumblr but haven't posted it in my dA, well... i have been neglecting many things around me... but i am trying... anyway it's an art doodle pause before i continue inking my comics... which i by the way now being delayed hugely because of yours truly(not goldie)

random rants inc.

this will be just a random rant... of sorts...

i have this confused tug at my... uh, in my... head... when i read something... i know it's jealousy... and i just erased that article i wrote awhile ago about attention whore-ism blah blah... but it's just me and my self battles so... no it's not excusable for myself to feel that... there is no reason...

besides i don't even own the people, the reason for, my being jealous about... anyway...

random rant gone... must walk dog... peace out...

Kaiba, just finished watching it

writing about the last thing i watched is totally something normal for a blog, which i have been doing for ever since. so here i am, copy pasting the opinion i wrote from my plurk.

but before that here is an info about the show.

Kaiba is the story about a boy, from a world where memories can be transferred from a desired body, who fell from the upper faction of their world down to the underworld with his memories lost with only a locket of a girls blurred(i think) picture in it and a whole on his chest. it's his quest to know the truths behind his loss of memory, the locket, and who he was.

further spoiler info: Kaiba wiki page

as i quote from my plurk: (note: you might want to highlight this OTL)

" the sorrow... the world... the imaginative way it didn't look so offensive... it was quite frankly nicely rendered... eventually i now understand why it made a low rating... it's because in the real world this kind of thing wasn't as interesting as those emotionally enhanced hormonal shows... with a lot of cuteness or bad ass... cuteness OTL i dunno why... badass and cuteness should be in one show OTL also the art style is too unique for the taste of those who has closed there minds to (should've said modern but still the next parts are also my opinion) ... uhm that almost generic anime style i see these days... in fact, almost like popolocrois, i like the art style... which actually is like that anime i couldn't fucking remember the name is... almost cartoonish... but in this matter who cares whether it's an anime style art and that it cam in japan so basically the art style should be stuck to those almost generic ones...

... i'm rambling..."

well that's about it...

truly, i liked it...

it's a recommended watch~

MDKP comics update

aaaaaaalrighty~ it's le comics update... the last time i updated about my comics, Children of the Eternal Spring, or CotES. i felt like i haven't moved an inch from that update... WHAT COULD I POSSIBLY DOOOO... MY LIFE IS BEING SUCKED OUT OF A... a fast purpose? aaaaw it's just the wussy talking... right now i am completely excited to say that the story is nearing to the action parts... (if it can be called an action, YES IT'S AN ACTION... schiiiiiizooooo~) anyway here's the last page of the latest update~

... but somethings wrong with blogspot right now so here's the LINK

the story hasn't neared the end of the introduction arc... even the drafts... i'm stuck at scene 9 at the drafts... and it's been like this for many months now... i know it's not nice to rush creativity but i wish creativity wouldn't lounge too much...

oh well Pansi here signing out~

i'm beginning to feel draggy about something... and i forgot what to ask to that someone related to the something. gotta go and talk to me boss later on about a major detail in mah life... and i want to do it. not because i've already started it and i have no choice but to follow through what i have started, but because i'm curious...

vorpal pencil first avvie

anyway it's old news but i submitted a logo art work for vorpal pencil it's a site my friend from plurk and some friend of his started in tumblr. (oh that double whammy blogsites)

hehehehe i actually liked how it ended to look so here is the full version of the avvie from my archives:

that 30 day challenge notice

plan on doing this 30 day challenge from tumblr (oh gohd i'm so tempted to put that troll face OTL) anyway i am also posting it here in my blogspot (good luck to that)

on the side note i will be in a huge break from inking my comics. it's that phase of my personal vendetta procrastination again. (why do i keep saying that???)

so now i go back to browsing over 9gag hehehehehe i have just learned the joys of browsing over 9gag even though i don't really have anything to browse browse on it. except for it's got alot of funny stuff in it.

back to the 30 day challenge and vorpal pencil, suddenly i remembered, dilema. i still don't know which ones of my "ideas" do i plan to draw for that vorpal pencil theme... NINJA-PIRATES... OTL i feel sooo unimaginative!!!!

pure imagination

it so i just did some word searching and put two weird words into one... which i won't be revealing soon. i've been busy with alot of things, random work load, my comics, searching for that right work for myself, social satisfaction of talking to my friends blah blah so... i end up... posting arte~

its an update of my comics actually Children of the Eternal Spring, Door Knocker Pendant phase, and i've finished one of the most detailed yet easy to ink page of the whole series:

( you can see it here if it doesn't buff properly )

anyway the current story so far, the five main cast has already been introduced, although not properly but they are introduced. still the way i tell the story is pretty vague but it's heir alright.

by the way, there's this rumour about the end of days is in this day... i seem to encounter this alot, although i couldn't care myself. the end of days would come but i'd rather note myself on it's vagueness instead of it being spoiled to me.

well tah-tah~

annette astatines story(5) final

FINALLY the last few chapters of the story so greatly delayed... in copying and pasting...

21[ hero girl was helping traffic a bunch of cars one day when she sees small girl and boyfriend walk together not far away boyish-girl follows. hero girl inquires and finds out about the situation, she disturbs them and tells the boyfriend the truth and boyfriend felt stupid and tries to find tenant girl. tenant girl was found working at an office not far away from the house and boyfriend reconciles with her. hero girl feels guilty about involving the two and sharesalot of it with stalker guy and old lady. old lady suddenly shares a story to hero girl that she felt quite familiar.]

22[ she goes back to the library and searched for the diary she asks about and and found out there was another diary that seems to be connected with the fathers journal and finds her mothers journal, thinner and smaller than her father and reads about her mother and her own escapades in the city and how she met with her father, the story behind her fathers stay was because her mother was worried about tenant girls mother who was a close friend and very much valued by hero girls mother. hero girls father didnt want to stay but hero girls mother said it's alright, by finding alot of things about her mother the only conflict now was how to find a way to cling away from her mother. she had felt very dependant of her even until death and that by finding this she had dug the deepest wound she could ever feel.]

23[ stalker guy feels guilty by not knowing what to do and insists on keeping positive, he tries to find ways to make her feel better by bravely asking alot of hero girls friends even though he was anti-social and arrogant. in the end he gives up when he felt very down not knowing entirely what to do. hero girl comes to him one day with a cake saying it was his birthday, he says it isn't but she had dug up alot of things from her contacts specifically the people from the prison and found datus about him. he keeps his cool but finds himself surprised that for the first time after so many years has he celebrated his birthday with a cake and with someone. she puts another candle on the cake , he asked why and said it is also my birthday today coincidentally. he looks at her admiringly as she tells him about how her mother makes an effort to cleebrate her birthday grandly, for her, every year. she would want to try it someday with someone else she loved but right now she could only buy a cake. stalker guy tells her it was the best thing she could ever do and that for the first time someone he liked liked him back. she smiles to this and they both blow the candle. hero girl contemplates on the reason why her mother sent her back and why she even followed, maybe it was her way of showing how she loved her mother even after death but what ever the reason was it didnt matter because dwelling on it wastes much more time than her work.]

it's not exactly healthy but...

silently weeping and not telling anything about it to anybody... hahaha

i feel too much... i'm not rational... i'm a fake hahahaha...

i want to learn archery further... i want to spend some time practicing it till i die... i want to... but i feel like i can't afford it damned it OTL

update of the comics FOR THE EFFIN FRST TIME

hah recently i have been progressing so slow with my comics: Children of the Eternal Spring (Act One [FOREVER OTL])

so far i have been progressing so awesomely and have resolved to delve into making the comics BLACK AND WHITE LITERALLY... usually it would look like this:

see that all black white and grey... i guess i was abit conscious of the fact that i couldn't put much tones or shading in it when i first made the comics... so in the end i have resolved in just making it what i have always been an expert (i feel so non progressive with this) BLACK AND WHITE FINALLY!!!

(although there will still be parts with colour indicating its value or just something...)

just a preview of the comics though fufufufu you have to read it here: (LINK) or here (LINK)

anyway recently these days have been pretty busy... with not noticing many things... like i have been completely sleeping late when i shouldn't be... but the focus of making the comics has been slow but is not forgotten... anywya it has been almost four or five months since i have started updating the comics... (and more than two months of preparation OTL) and so far i have already been swallowing the gist of the story with such a good flow that i feel like i'm doing something epic again... i wanted to avoid making it really long but in the end it seems like i have a long way to go before finishing the story...

i started the story in a short raw idea... and now its coming to life... much wilder than i have expected (i'm already up on the next ten scenes... and i haven'te even reached the last scene on making the drafts damn~)

anyway the start of the story is a crude and vague introduction of the characters and the situation... dubbed INTRODUCTION PHASE... but i won't be saying so in the site... except here hahaha

filling in the gaps of each characters history and cause is a wee bit far away (on the next batch of ten scenes) but soon it will be revealed JUST YOU WAIT!!!!

anyway thats all, i was supposedly just to update my tumblr but it seems like tumblr is having a bit of a problem... wee huge tiny bit...