who could have thought.

i notice that i myself is a sucker for the idea of the pain of waiting for that loved one to come back type of person. but i don't have anyone to wait, nor any thought of even waiting for... anyone at all nor in particular, that is. except their is this nagging thought in my head that i am waiting for someone to confirm an old thought that has mislead in me on several occasions.

i could never blame my young self for wanting to stick with the idea of friendship being forever, it is, its just that alot of things changes and i don't even want to specify it right now. its too long or to tedious to think of.

the thing is, i know alot of people feel this on so many different levels of reasons, denials, opinions and thought. each one unique on its own, but is it really such a trivial sad and oppressing force to the heart to wait for someone whom your not entirely sure will come back. the chances are pretty slim, but the percentage is still there~

i, in my neutrally labelled opinion. it's neither good nor bad might i explain you why i say so. it's alright to wait for someone, but it will only be fruitful and enjoyable depending on the person. totally unreasonable to say i am not waiting, but i am waiting, for myself to develop into so many levels. for change, but i'd rather let it be unexpected. for every aspect of life that needed consideration, to lazy to type them all.

i could wait, but acting upon other things which can be acted upon is my other opinion as well.

sigh why did i have to think about that anime, it's such a sad story. i forgot the title but its a makoto shinkai one...

HERE HERE I FOUND IT

Voices of a Distant Star

i like this one because its... in a real setup of the whole world... the idea of this waiting... is such a sad thing.

it sucks that i truthfully want the characters to not forget about each other and be together in the end even if the guys like already really old and the girl, with the effect of the light yrs in space, would still look 16.

although it ended with an open-ended story, i don't mind because in my heart it's so wonderful to think that a love even if the aeons of light years in the universe cannot certify them being together (well actually i think it ended the guy chasing after the girl in space lolol couldn't remember the end o...TL but that's what i read in the manga.) i felt their loyalty for each other, it was obvious they were loyally in love with each other.

how beautiful, and vague it was.

note: when i say love it feels like that love of a man and a woman that almost ends up in marriage, well this one seems like that of friendship, but friendship also is a form of love.

double effort max

currently i have been focusing on completing the children of eternal spring dorr knocker pendant, HI quest m character, its been long since i wanted to start an official webcomics aside from that other one related to OTL its pretty nerve wracking hard and bland to start it alone since i have nothing but myself to judge my own work think of ideas and concepts by myself and continue to suck at being a properly decided person...

but i have been blessed to be stubborn and head on stupid in attacking on wards and thinking little of any proper plan... of course i thought of a plan its just somehow half way through it... it suddenly got a little wee vague. but now my focus is to finish all the scenes that i have currently finished... making ... its pretty slow since internet suddenly became my blood again, sewing some tiny murdered looking dolls that i made to add to the gifts i was supposed to give to y friends this x-mas...

anyway i just am passing by to post this fact in this blog, also to update the OFFICIAL webcomic...

Children of the Eternal Spring: ch.1 Missing Door Knocker Pendant

its a violent, fantasy, drama, action type of story, basically has tons of loopholes in it... but that is what makes it a good thing... there are tons of loop holes in it...

note:
line art& comics: fancy kosher
colour: kaijerk

pre-productions and attempts

i'm starting my day thinking of some stuff for a comics i plan on illustrating without any formal story written for it... it should be called whim... im at a whim on it... since its taking some time to make our one shot short story for "orz" which we have no formal title yet... i will be proceeding in making a one shot for "orz" since co-worker shiyami is still on the hold for her detective romance story... i can't contact her much and to think of it maybe i shud text her right now that we should me this saturday...

for further introductions i won't be making any but will be posting a said preliminary draft for the supposed cover as part of the comics... which is here on the right side ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

its kind of failed of some sorts since i didn't really intend to color it through h2o color... it was more like a wasted experiment... but i like the way the eyes were done and thats a first for it... so far the plan is to maintain the traditional bnw quality in this one shot practice... i already have a vague story for it, right now in my head, and is quickly thumbnailing the whole story into parts and panels so far i plan it short clean and sad... the titles called "God's failed attempt at Mercy" story about friends who got caught up between a battle of two gods near the mountains where one of the friends supposedly lost her way or got lost... so far it would only just consist of fight scenes and sad revelations for the friends... and in the end both die because of the 2 gods failing to give mercy to the things around them... selfish eh... there really is no point its just I WANT TO MAKE A FIGHT SCENE ... and the "orz" one shot is my big excuse LOLz

anyway i'm beginning to get tired of Shiyami's side of work since its pretty long since i last had the heart to but I WILL NOT FAIL... i resolved to myself that i won't give up in making comics even though i lack a huge amount of experience but that is not an excuse to not excercise my skills in illustration and creating stories in my mind... I DON'T WANT IT TO DIE ... i have to i just can't feel relaxed and ... relaxed if i don't do it... it feels so much in my blood...