finally getting that chance

if i said that i wouldn't try and print this comics out as an indie, i was probably bluffing that time or something. because now in almost one months time... goodness i'm going to sell it in a convention. i'm completely uncertain... i'm even making an effort of going to make a stuff toy to sell for that day. *siiiiiiiigh* i'm quite uncertain truly, but on another note i have begun to watch and download recorded musical plays~~

fancy, fancy~~

hahahaha, i couldn't quite grasp it honestly, but i wanted to watch Into the Woods again. i remember that i once had watched the play with my cousins theatre group, well that was years ago in her older sisters era of being a member of the group. i think it was the first play that made me sink deeper in fascination with fantasy. but i doubt i understood the play before hahahaha although now i completely understand the content of the songs, it's lovely, and funny~~

but musicals are good working music to work with~~~

anyway back to the comics, i've already begun preparations for the printed version. i hope i could print it cheaply? or sell it properly... i wish it would sell out... i wish the toys we sell would be bought by a lot of people... *sigh*

oh well... nothing to gain anything if we thought like this, if it doesn't... let's hope for the best of it... AND the next time would be even better~~~

that awesome moment+short story

when you realize that you've got tons of things done in the past few days and those personal vendetta claimed projects are straggling you're time to just rest when actually you aren't really that busy since in between those moments you were "doing" something you had the time to take a breather and read something else... no that's not what this article would really be about.

it's just i'm placid these days and so many things, uncertain, undecided, quite frankly i dunno if it can be non-dodged but personally i can try and find a way to solve them...

for one my plan on my webcomics Children of the Eternal Spring, well i'm planning on making a print version of it AND translated into our native language for the next comics convention or any convention if possible... although i am uncertain of any possible audience it's still worth a try... anyway the guts to push through thinking of it as an idea came to me just last week or so, but i am still unsure of what kind of arrangements i shall make of the pages and the order of the scenarios, will i keep the scenario titles... stuff like that... anyway it's a standing idea that i'm quietly putting aside for awhile as i push through finishing the first part of Act1 and the designs for part2.

and while were on the stand of ideas i'm currently man handling my own ability to think of ideas by purposefully forcing a new comics which i am excited to draft if only i could remember slash be inspired enough to continue until finishing... augh...

i think i'm frustrated, not stressed enough to be sickly thin i mean i'm as chubby as ever~

so it's just a thought lingering... but these ideas... i have to take them one step at a time... and it pains me to just... i feel quite stupidly selfish typing on and on about these stuff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before Alice in Wonderland

the doors to his room has never felt so intimidating in his entire life, though Chimpancey, also known as Chim to anyone who knew him, knew he needed to stand up from his bed sooner or later still his dead panned shame wanted him plastered on that very spot forever. scratching his head out of frustration and annoyance to his own sad broken hearted demise. yes, to any friend he knew will know and probably have forgotten, he is broken hearted again. the sun trickled a few drops of sunshine on his window as it slowly turned into a quiet sunset.

rubbing his thin pale elbows, free from any darkening or callousing from being used as a head stand or any use too long, thinking that spot needed a scratch because it was imaginarily itchy. his mind wandered at his embarrassing situation-slash-accident-slash- he wanted it but couldn't have the guts to properly do what ever the out come maybe but alas the out come was bitter and couldn't accept it, adding a couple of bullying and insult added salt to injury moment, he couldn't help but feel his own eyes begin to water from the sheer fact of his own... bad luck.

what had he done to deserve such a fate, was his insignificantly demeaning question to his own fate. did he torture hundreds of fly's since his childhood to deserve such a cruel joke played upon him to his emotions, mind you he had not like flies since then for being too annoying for his taste. never the less, he still did not deserve to be blatantly shamed and doubly smacked with a rejection in front of a million children from across the district. in fact that was no joke.

seeing this week was an annual inter-school competition, between at least four school who were all public schools and quite impressively been occupied heavily by thousands of students. so basically a million would have been an exaggerated blow-up but he could probably multiply all the eyes by two and will probably get that much witness.

it wasn't the most perfect plan in the world but he couldn't bear it. you see he heard she was being courted by a guy he deemed un worthy of her, he was "in love" with this girl, Cassa, she was called by most. prettiest angel he could have ever laid his eyes on, lovely hair, luscious lips, all that fancy remarks of someone blearily infatuated physique wise. simply took his breath away the first time he saw her, double it with her nice compliments and those moments she defended him from bullies. well he wasn't exactly such a very stand-offish boy.

he was a kind of albino of the school with the height of a 10 year old kid in the body of a 14 yr old, he was hoping he would still grow. sadly though this was an enough reason for him to be badly treated by "the higher" kids plus with his kind of cowardice like attitude and almost unique looks of being boyishly girlie. he couldn't be helped but dubbed as a girly wimp or a shrimpy albino. he didn't like it the least but he was glad he was at most specially if Cassa was around.

obviously sometimes he thinks he abuses his frailty just to be someone Cassa would defend, stupid as it may seem. but he had no choice, inside him he was afraid to fight back. too good to be true though when it kicked in, his chivalrous side, when he found out her suitor was that one bully who always made a good smack of his face every phys. ed. time. he hated the guy, loathed him for mocking his height and frailty, although in honesty he hated himself but thats just partially beside the point.

no man can make a move on the purest girl he's ever encountered, and thats when he stupidly decided. yes, ladies and gentlemen clap your hands at the worst suitor in this side of the world. he decided to ask her to be his girlfriend even though he hadn't even established his very ground in her life even as a friend, but of course like all sadly idiotic characters in a story, this very fact haven't established in his mind yet. rather it would have been best if it this idea had stuck in his head in the first place but no, selfish of course not wanting to emotionally hurt himself first.

too bad this act cost him at least 8 lives out of his 8 because he had asked her out but she was already contemplating on being el-bully suitors girl friend, of course the girl isn't to blame for if she found something to love to the boy our little Chim found his foul existence offensive. so finding a completely huge wall and hit it hard with a splat, also a dead end, he tried reasoning with her. she had her reasons. he tried reasoning harder. she found this completely offensive but still in the politest manner she rejected him.

saying how flattered she was to be liked by him but she only found sympathy for him. again reminding you his bad luck was really conniving to such a destructive manner, bully saw this rejection happen. way to go Cassa for rejecting a poor boy and confessing unconsciously to the man your heart belonged, give her a round of applause. depressingly no applause could be hear into Chims side of story as besides being rejected feeling bitter, he tried fighting off bully boy.

honestly not the most advisable thing in the world clearly. so yes at this point you could have guessed what happened next, everyone saw he was a sore loser. paling as white as a sheet of paper he ran home weeping at his loss, or at least trying to not bawl.

a soft knock resounded to his ears and in came his mother, who looked quite like him in a manner of speaking, which he liked and hated at the same time. her face the complete painting of concern for her favoured child.

"what's wrong?" came the practiced question of mothers. "is my son alright?" she asked again, patting him on his cold forehead.

smiling at his mothers warm hands he nodded in reply to her, even though his eyes screamed the answer 'no i'm not really, can't you even see that fact mother?'

"okay," she said, sounding a little down, to this he winced inwardly. "your brother wants to know if you've finished your assignment, he told me he'd gladly teach you today if you haven't. in fact he's planning on bringing you to the library." she told him with a little twinkle of hope to cheer him up.

he couldn't quite grasp why her mother couldn't accept the fact that him spending his time being taught by his brother would never make him happy. in fact it would probably just make him completely frustrated. not to mention in his mind he knew why his brothers bringing him to the library, it was that student teacher he was trying to impress, again. snorting at this his mother must have perceived this as a comply for she sat up clapping her hands and murmuring something he couldn't understand.

sitting up, dreading the out come of that misinterpretation. in came his older brother with a quirked brow and an unmistakable smirk before rising from his bed shaking his head.

" really? the library? i thought i'd never see the day that i'd be inside that weird place. you know you'll never get that teacher." he told him as he wore his olive green, knee length, coat.

"honestly, is that really what you think of your brother. well come on bring your things, we don't have all day." he said tapping his wrist watch.

Chim rolled his eyes as he concluded that the teacher must have an aloted time in the library and he's chasing after her before it's too late.

arriving finally, to Chim's glee and his brothers frown, they didn't make it in time. the student-teacher his brother had his eyes on, along with her fellow trainees, had already left. leaving his brother no choice.

"tsk, damn. i was hoping i could ask her out again today. that last date wasn't enough for me." he scratched his head as he watched a kid with blonde-half-sky blue hair walk by, cocking his brow at this he turned to his tiny brother. "well i guess i should leave you here. if i can beat time i can catch her before she reaches her house." he said facing the other way around to run.

before Chim could even say anything his brother had ran leaving the tiny thing standing on a wonderfully nice evening sky. he looked around him feeling a little begrudged and lost before his eyes landed on the library doors. would he dare? he thought to himself. never fond of books nor the idea of the ever lulling feeling reading. eyes beginning to adjust to the growing dimness, he sprinted in the library doors and opened it.

entering this unknown domain of written words of whatever they might be. he looked around thinking of something to do and quite frankly inwardly embarrassed at the complete and utter silence of the place. he was quite used to a hustle and bustle type of crowd, he sprinted to a corner of the library that didn't consist of anyone reading on the floor or whispered discussions on the table.

hurrying his feet to find that spot he could call his own. he tip toed to a corner on the second floor and saw a spot unoccupied, also quite dim and possibly looking pretty dusty and unwelcome corner. he looked around to see if anyone was watching and sat gingerly onto a spot.

after settling for a few minutes he looked up and found a book about a very nicely illustrated volume of Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. wondering what the pictures looked like he pulled the heavy book from its place and scanned through it carefully. while scanning through the pages, touching it's yellow worn pages it suddenly dawned to him at how calming it felt to touch the pages of the book.

smelling the emitting old age of the book he had on his lap he couldn't stop but think about what had happened before, about his feeling of utter distress about his so called rejection in par to the end of the world. maybe, in a really deep thought, it wasn't anyones fault. looking back, he didn't really try making such an impression to her for her to like him. oh finally the idea has struck him.

everything from then on, hard as it is to swallow, was his own fault. he had deliberately dug up his own hole to die on even before he knew it. is that how impulsive he was at being loved or impressing a girl. for that he might blame the fact that at some point to prove his manliness, since he did look like a wimpy frail girl for a boy of fourteen, he need a woman he can love. not like he wasn't being loved properly by his mother, no that is a completely different thing.

something about just being impressed by a kind girl, a beauty at that, just makes him crumble and become a completely even worse wimp. rolling his eyes at this thought, he suddenly laughed out loud at this thought. eyes watering at the sides from an idea, god knows why he laughed. a loud shush came to his left, where he came from, and found himself face to face with a quite stern looking face. he knew her name was Mrs. Tad, he didn't care if he ever met her, but now he should probably. now that she looked quite stern.

"excuse me young boy, mind you. i know reading can quite make us feel alot of emotions. but do please keep it to our selves now." she said as her stern face broke into a very warm smile, he swore made his little boy heart melt with such motherly love, although it was still evident that her sternness was intact with in her voice.

couldn't help being pulled into it, he smiled back at her sheepishly and nodded. she nodded back acknowledging his earnest compliance and went back to whatever she was doing. watching her back disappear he giggled to himself then found his eyes back to the book he held. it was a good thing this library went on until the wee hours of the night or else he would have been still sulking.

suddenly realizing a quick change of lightness in his once bereaved heart, he wondered if the library was some kind of magic for making him feel, if for no better word, better. blinking, he suddenly found himself immersed, surprisingly, at the wonderfully queer world of Alice in Wonderland.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

well hope you enjoyed this entry, the character is actually another character from another short story, this one is like a prequel of some sorts to it entitled Untimely Library. eventually this one story doesn't have a trace of fantasy or msytery in it, but Untimely Library, the original story has. so enjoy~

just going to ramble a little wee bit here... i should completely reconsider the idea of blogging... it's becoming like a diary, the kind that people shouldn't be exactly reading... but i'm already used to typing in it... since i do feel the vibes that no one will read unimportant rambles from it...

on the other hand i shall announce... PAMAGAT OTL'S TUMBLR SITE *prerecorded crowd cheer plus applause* anyway it's going to be an art blog dump dedicated to the details of the OTL projects~

and as i said this entry will be a ramble so not much posting of linksies...

but i just feel completely exhausted for some reason, is it about that email i want to send to oh no manga about the anthology series, i wanted to inquire first about specifying the procedures but i have this other thought of just sending the required stuff they... listed... although i will not loose anything by sending it in... i still feel like i want to clarify something about their procedures cause at some point i feel like they have made me feel vague...

or is it the fact that i have this dampening depression that seems to come out of nowhere... although i don't feel that sad or unsatisfied... or sad... or grumpy, or... i'm doing my page work for the webcom... it's just...

i tried my hand on water colour, the actual water colour, again today... i still have it but i'm as slow as i used to be, which feels like a bad thing for me... it shows that i didn't grow that much since the last time i planted that seed... i guess maybe that's whats making me frustratedly... bored? *pinch nose bridge*

i don't really know if this kind of thing should even be shared or discussed with anyone *exasperated flinging of arms*... but in my mind it's not big of a deal to be discussed heart to heart to... to anyone in particular...

the wedding invites lolol

hallu hahahaha, i've been commissioned by my sister to design her invite for her wedding next year and here's a tiny peek... well actually this si what the invite would look like... if it's laid flat. it's some kind of three fold invite that's a wee bit smaller than the size of a short bond. i'm quite satisfied with this. in fact... i kept on giggling through out the process... no it's not because of the word "kilig" the meaning of my giggle is like a hihihi type of laugh... i mean what the fuck essence. i don't really do stuff like this but it's cutsie cutsie and i'm trying not to really laugh that hard... because it's cutsie cutsie... hahahahahaha

anyway onto some self update, PamagatOTL will have i's chance of debut in komikon, hoping for this november. also a new title named Openended, specially made for komikon here, here.

also paused MDKP for this OTL oh please my baby komiks forgive me~~~

Martin the Warrior

no this might not be a kind of review, but will just be a tiny post about my sentiments to Martins story before he founded the Abbey. good lourd i never knew my prayers would be heard someday when i wished that i could discover atleast that Martin will have a love interest. but sad to say sir Brian Jacques just broke my heart by killing her in the end. *weeps*

still it never stopped me from appreciating her existence, this just proves that for once Martin the Warrior was destined to be with someone his heart ached for, well aside from the aching for justice, sadly it may seem that another life time might be needed for them to meet again.

i do believe that the hero from the book Redwall is the reincarnation of this great mouse warrior, if i remember his name was Mattimeo? goodness it has been, what? two years or three years ago since i bought the first book Sir Brian Jacques has authored and since that point until now i have never been so glad in my entire life to have stumbled upon it. i don't care if it sounds like his books are for adolescent or young readers, i still like them!!!

but i couldn't really prove it since i don't live in their world. anyway i need to check again on the list of books of the Redwall series since i need to know which ones i still don't have or will be eager to look for. although i have already had my eyes on the title Tuggerung, i regret not buying it the same time as the Martin the Warrior when i passed by Booksale.

on wards to a public update of my life, currently multitasking on things such as comment/editing of the comics of my friend. currently willing to volunteer myself into making her background artist so that she wouldn't be bothered by making backgrounds anymore. not a poor thing, it's just that she seems to have trouble with making backgrounds. but my proposal is still on hold... well just because.

next is update of my comics Children of the Eternal Spring: Missing Door Knocker update. so far i haven't left off Scene 5. |||OTL good lourd.

anyway a little more patience and we'll come to the end of this arc now~~

Goldilocks and that one dead bear

lo and behold my latest hobby doodle... Goldilocks and that one bear... sorry i don't have the genius knack to title it much better than... that... anyway i posted it in my art tumblr but haven't posted it in my dA, well... i have been neglecting many things around me... but i am trying... anyway it's an art doodle pause before i continue inking my comics... which i by the way now being delayed hugely because of yours truly(not goldie)

random rants inc.

this will be just a random rant... of sorts...

i have this confused tug at my... uh, in my... head... when i read something... i know it's jealousy... and i just erased that article i wrote awhile ago about attention whore-ism blah blah... but it's just me and my self battles so... no it's not excusable for myself to feel that... there is no reason...

besides i don't even own the people, the reason for, my being jealous about... anyway...

random rant gone... must walk dog... peace out...

Kaiba, just finished watching it

writing about the last thing i watched is totally something normal for a blog, which i have been doing for ever since. so here i am, copy pasting the opinion i wrote from my plurk.

but before that here is an info about the show.

Kaiba is the story about a boy, from a world where memories can be transferred from a desired body, who fell from the upper faction of their world down to the underworld with his memories lost with only a locket of a girls blurred(i think) picture in it and a whole on his chest. it's his quest to know the truths behind his loss of memory, the locket, and who he was.

further spoiler info: Kaiba wiki page

as i quote from my plurk: (note: you might want to highlight this OTL)

" the sorrow... the world... the imaginative way it didn't look so offensive... it was quite frankly nicely rendered... eventually i now understand why it made a low rating... it's because in the real world this kind of thing wasn't as interesting as those emotionally enhanced hormonal shows... with a lot of cuteness or bad ass... cuteness OTL i dunno why... badass and cuteness should be in one show OTL also the art style is too unique for the taste of those who has closed there minds to (should've said modern but still the next parts are also my opinion) ... uhm that almost generic anime style i see these days... in fact, almost like popolocrois, i like the art style... which actually is like that anime i couldn't fucking remember the name is... almost cartoonish... but in this matter who cares whether it's an anime style art and that it cam in japan so basically the art style should be stuck to those almost generic ones...

... i'm rambling..."

well that's about it...

truly, i liked it...

it's a recommended watch~

MDKP comics update

aaaaaaalrighty~ it's le comics update... the last time i updated about my comics, Children of the Eternal Spring, or CotES. i felt like i haven't moved an inch from that update... WHAT COULD I POSSIBLY DOOOO... MY LIFE IS BEING SUCKED OUT OF A... a fast purpose? aaaaw it's just the wussy talking... right now i am completely excited to say that the story is nearing to the action parts... (if it can be called an action, YES IT'S AN ACTION... schiiiiiizooooo~) anyway here's the last page of the latest update~

... but somethings wrong with blogspot right now so here's the LINK

the story hasn't neared the end of the introduction arc... even the drafts... i'm stuck at scene 9 at the drafts... and it's been like this for many months now... i know it's not nice to rush creativity but i wish creativity wouldn't lounge too much...

oh well Pansi here signing out~

i'm beginning to feel draggy about something... and i forgot what to ask to that someone related to the something. gotta go and talk to me boss later on about a major detail in mah life... and i want to do it. not because i've already started it and i have no choice but to follow through what i have started, but because i'm curious...

vorpal pencil first avvie

anyway it's old news but i submitted a logo art work for vorpal pencil it's a site my friend from plurk and some friend of his started in tumblr. (oh that double whammy blogsites)

hehehehe i actually liked how it ended to look so here is the full version of the avvie from my archives:

that 30 day challenge notice

plan on doing this 30 day challenge from tumblr (oh gohd i'm so tempted to put that troll face OTL) anyway i am also posting it here in my blogspot (good luck to that)

on the side note i will be in a huge break from inking my comics. it's that phase of my personal vendetta procrastination again. (why do i keep saying that???)

so now i go back to browsing over 9gag hehehehehe i have just learned the joys of browsing over 9gag even though i don't really have anything to browse browse on it. except for it's got alot of funny stuff in it.

back to the 30 day challenge and vorpal pencil, suddenly i remembered, dilema. i still don't know which ones of my "ideas" do i plan to draw for that vorpal pencil theme... NINJA-PIRATES... OTL i feel sooo unimaginative!!!!

pure imagination

it so i just did some word searching and put two weird words into one... which i won't be revealing soon. i've been busy with alot of things, random work load, my comics, searching for that right work for myself, social satisfaction of talking to my friends blah blah so... i end up... posting arte~

its an update of my comics actually Children of the Eternal Spring, Door Knocker Pendant phase, and i've finished one of the most detailed yet easy to ink page of the whole series:

( you can see it here if it doesn't buff properly )

anyway the current story so far, the five main cast has already been introduced, although not properly but they are introduced. still the way i tell the story is pretty vague but it's heir alright.

by the way, there's this rumour about the end of days is in this day... i seem to encounter this alot, although i couldn't care myself. the end of days would come but i'd rather note myself on it's vagueness instead of it being spoiled to me.

well tah-tah~

annette astatines story(5) final

FINALLY the last few chapters of the story so greatly delayed... in copying and pasting...

21[ hero girl was helping traffic a bunch of cars one day when she sees small girl and boyfriend walk together not far away boyish-girl follows. hero girl inquires and finds out about the situation, she disturbs them and tells the boyfriend the truth and boyfriend felt stupid and tries to find tenant girl. tenant girl was found working at an office not far away from the house and boyfriend reconciles with her. hero girl feels guilty about involving the two and sharesalot of it with stalker guy and old lady. old lady suddenly shares a story to hero girl that she felt quite familiar.]

22[ she goes back to the library and searched for the diary she asks about and and found out there was another diary that seems to be connected with the fathers journal and finds her mothers journal, thinner and smaller than her father and reads about her mother and her own escapades in the city and how she met with her father, the story behind her fathers stay was because her mother was worried about tenant girls mother who was a close friend and very much valued by hero girls mother. hero girls father didnt want to stay but hero girls mother said it's alright, by finding alot of things about her mother the only conflict now was how to find a way to cling away from her mother. she had felt very dependant of her even until death and that by finding this she had dug the deepest wound she could ever feel.]

23[ stalker guy feels guilty by not knowing what to do and insists on keeping positive, he tries to find ways to make her feel better by bravely asking alot of hero girls friends even though he was anti-social and arrogant. in the end he gives up when he felt very down not knowing entirely what to do. hero girl comes to him one day with a cake saying it was his birthday, he says it isn't but she had dug up alot of things from her contacts specifically the people from the prison and found datus about him. he keeps his cool but finds himself surprised that for the first time after so many years has he celebrated his birthday with a cake and with someone. she puts another candle on the cake , he asked why and said it is also my birthday today coincidentally. he looks at her admiringly as she tells him about how her mother makes an effort to cleebrate her birthday grandly, for her, every year. she would want to try it someday with someone else she loved but right now she could only buy a cake. stalker guy tells her it was the best thing she could ever do and that for the first time someone he liked liked him back. she smiles to this and they both blow the candle. hero girl contemplates on the reason why her mother sent her back and why she even followed, maybe it was her way of showing how she loved her mother even after death but what ever the reason was it didnt matter because dwelling on it wastes much more time than her work.]

it's not exactly healthy but...

silently weeping and not telling anything about it to anybody... hahaha

i feel too much... i'm not rational... i'm a fake hahahaha...

i want to learn archery further... i want to spend some time practicing it till i die... i want to... but i feel like i can't afford it damned it OTL

update of the comics FOR THE EFFIN FRST TIME

hah recently i have been progressing so slow with my comics: Children of the Eternal Spring (Act One [FOREVER OTL])

so far i have been progressing so awesomely and have resolved to delve into making the comics BLACK AND WHITE LITERALLY... usually it would look like this:

see that all black white and grey... i guess i was abit conscious of the fact that i couldn't put much tones or shading in it when i first made the comics... so in the end i have resolved in just making it what i have always been an expert (i feel so non progressive with this) BLACK AND WHITE FINALLY!!!

(although there will still be parts with colour indicating its value or just something...)

just a preview of the comics though fufufufu you have to read it here: (LINK) or here (LINK)

anyway recently these days have been pretty busy... with not noticing many things... like i have been completely sleeping late when i shouldn't be... but the focus of making the comics has been slow but is not forgotten... anywya it has been almost four or five months since i have started updating the comics... (and more than two months of preparation OTL) and so far i have already been swallowing the gist of the story with such a good flow that i feel like i'm doing something epic again... i wanted to avoid making it really long but in the end it seems like i have a long way to go before finishing the story...

i started the story in a short raw idea... and now its coming to life... much wilder than i have expected (i'm already up on the next ten scenes... and i haven'te even reached the last scene on making the drafts damn~)

anyway the start of the story is a crude and vague introduction of the characters and the situation... dubbed INTRODUCTION PHASE... but i won't be saying so in the site... except here hahaha

filling in the gaps of each characters history and cause is a wee bit far away (on the next batch of ten scenes) but soon it will be revealed JUST YOU WAIT!!!!

anyway thats all, i was supposedly just to update my tumblr but it seems like tumblr is having a bit of a problem... wee huge tiny bit...

annette astatines story(4)

geez it's kind of hard to actually remember i'm posting the concept story of astatine family OTL oh well here's the next five parts, it's quite long. and i totally forgot it with all the hustle and bustle out in the world about natural disasters and stuff... plus work... XD

16[ the school holds an event about celebrating the new year cycle, during this time hero girl meets an unusual book in the old lady's hobby library and reads it, she finds it quite hard to read since most words are written in a different language and coincidentally boyfriend knows. they spend time reading it till boyfriend realizes it as tenant girls foster fathers journal, he reads further not being conscious of hero girls status as the original child of tenant girls foster father. he reads an entry that tells about hero girl and she realizes it was pertaining to her. she reads on as at some point she has suprisingly learned the language fast and found out about her father, something her mother was pertaining to find, but she couldn't understand now why her mother let her father to another woman.]

17[ hero girl keeps it a secret to her self and continues to work at the cafe, small girl comes back about the college course and celebrates eldest girl's birthday and they find out freakish guy and eldest girl will be legally married once graduation ends. the kids begins a new year and is surprised to have them both at different classrooms and finds it difficult to cope, they're legal guardians are now stalker and hero girl, the two kids make a big mess at school for being rebels. hero girl finds it amusing to deal with the two and finds help with the kid they bullied before and her friend. they end up getting in a big mess and currently in detention, but they gain more admiration from the class and being close friends with theyre bullied friend and bestfriend of the bullied. stalker guy gets annoyed by the kids but hero girl said it's alright.]

18[ the two spends the day together for her week off and finds that they have so many things to talk about. she finds out about stalker guys life and both contemplates on there personality, he musters so many negative things but hero girl finds all of the good things she could find. he suddenly laughs about it while she says it's much better. they go home together and she reveals about the diary she read, stalker guy feels guilty by keeping it a secret because hero girl acts unusual because of the topic. he never mentions he knows about it, instead talks to tenant girl. tenant girl and stalker guy were found out by the boyfriend and he becomes jealous.]

19[ hero girl takes an exam to the university along with small girl and boyish-girl, all of them felt drained by studying luckily hero girl is friends with one of the teacher and the two, except for boysih-girl as they were both sure she will pass, that they will get a referal. the four, along with eldes girl, take a treat out, while they do so see's stalker guy and tenant girl together. hero girl was about to greet them together when small girl says something like are they dating but isnt tenant girl having a boyfriend, hero girl says she doesn't know and continues to approach them when she heard about the mention of her father. she interrupts them both and the two begins to act guilty, tenant girl becomes heavily heavy hearted but hero girl says other wise and encourages her to say it but she runs away.]

20[ tenant girl goes to her boyfriend and finds him cheating on her, she suddenly breaks down and goes home to a friends house. stalker guy talks about the father incident and she clears everything that she doesn't feel any anger or saddness by the mention of her father, in fact she was curious but very hesitant because of her mothers memory. he tells her he's sorry and will find a way to make her feel enlightened again by her mothers memory, she says thank you and that just by his thought she can be enlightened, they go home to confront tenant girl only to find her no where to be found. small girl and boyish-girl wander about and sees boyfriend, which to boysih-girls memory is someone related to hero girl. boyfriend hits on small girl and she consents, only because she was curious and that boysih-girl felt something was amiss with boyfriend.]

annette astatines story(3)

good lord i forgot i was posting the concept/summary story of Antonette Astatine... or something... hahaha here's the next batch~~

11[tenant girl arrives at the new home and found herself sharing a room with hero girl, they become close friends and the other loyal tenants staying almost for free at the house. life continues only now the apartment rubbles are no help to hero girls dilema. she works at the cafe as usual, and janitor at the school. she sees stalker guy free from the prison he said he'd move on and found something new to do, and said he'd stalk her from now on, she smiles and says okay. she brings him home and finds about tenant girl which brings him to a sort of conflict and a rising argument of not letting him stay. stalker hesitates but never agrees because he wants to stay with hero girl, hero girl doesn't notice because of a certain thing she noticed from the place of stalker guy. she found the compact of the girl in his things and remembered it to be of something similar to her grandmothers. she tried asking about tenant girl about the compact but says she doesn't know much only it was given to her by her mother since her death five yrs ago, but hero girl doesnt get it if her mother died almost two yrs ago and tenant girls five how can she remember something about the compact.]

12[ hero girl continues job as janitor and finds girly-boy contemplating on boyish-girl's sudden aloofness with him and both finds about small girl's burden over boyish-girls side by being dependent to her. girly-boy taunst small girl but only gets bad mouthed by boyish-girl. both felt angry about another but small girl realizes her fault even though hero girl hinted on it, she makes them friends and girly-boy accidentally says more. boyish-girl says shes fine with it and leaves hero girl and small girl thinking if they were fighting because they liked each other, but found that it was natural for the two to fight over things. tenant girl and stalker guy struggle to get along and finds a letter inside the compact by accident and see a note addressed to someone tenant girl didn't know.]

13[ stalker guy stalks hero girl to her job and ends up having an unassuming date with her since she was lett off for the day, with pay. they tell stories about each other and stalker guy finds about the name of the letter the same with hero girls father, he tells something but stops finding out that she has never even talked to her father that she never knew. tenant girl and stalker guy dwells on they're secret, after tenant girl finds out about the father name. the old lady spends time with hero girl during week ends off and goes to a library cafe as old as the now gone apartment, old lady tells of the history of the apartment and city. hero girl goes home carrying the old lady sleeping, she spots the three girls and goes with them.]

14[ tenant girl investigates on her own with her boyfriends help, and surprisingly with stalker's help and found about hero girls father and tenant girls relationship with each other. tenant girl is an illegitamate child of her mother to a man related to hero girls father, possibly his brother. the father played as a fake father to tenant girl with an alias, as her original father lived another life with his original family, figuring that hero's father must have had a secret relationship with tenant girls mother since he chose to stay and be with them till before he died of sickness. finding this out tenant girl becomes confused and sad, as the past made her a betrayer of hero girl her close friend. stalker becomes an unwilling bestfriend, feeling the jealous wrath of the boyfriend.]

15[ hero girl becomes busy by helping with the tenants new home and eldest girl helps along. freakish guy rants about the crowd but keeps his mouth shut in front of eldest girl, he urges them to find a new job after the collapse and forcibly helps them by asking around his peers if they had any way to give them jobs. small girl comes back with her dilema of choosing a course to take in college, since she was the only one taking it. hero girls figures she should take a college course as well since her pay in her job is too measly for her necessity even though, stalker, tenant girl and other close friends give her help, additional romance ensues when boyish-girl decides to attend college as well with a definite course while girly-boy is sent to work directly under his fathers supervision, making them lose more time for each other. tenant girl becomes aloof, hero girl takes notice while stalker guy keeps on trying to say the situation only to hear more of how hero girl never thought of anything for her father and that where ever he is must be what mother wants, tenant girl holds stalker guy and tells him never to tell about it and that stalker guy was forced to keep quite, much to his confused mind because he still felt feelings for tenant girl and it seems like he is beginning to have a deeper love for hero girl.]

you know what... my friends right... i guess i was born serious...

annette astatines story(2)

continuation of the other story idea i posted a few days ago~

_______________________________________

6[ after wards another dilema came the landlady was having problems with some authorities that coincidentally the girl helped during the traffic. she comes home to the hotel and sees the stalker listening to the tenant girl friends conversation with her boy friend and they find out that the relationship is rocky, along with her loosing her current job. the two neighboring kids come back from school in trouble because of bullying one kid at theyre school, she finds out about it and is dragged in to replace theyre parents so that they wont be scolded. while she did this she accidentally ensues stalkers help and they pretended to be, at least, the guardian of the two kids. stalker almost made a bad impression but the girl saves him by taking all three kids, plus one from the class out on a trip and made them friends with each other. after returning the kids, panic almost ensues as the adults didnt know where they went, she goes back home gaining the trust of the two bratty kids.]

7[ one day at work she suddenly gets sick and leaves early but found it pretty hard not to do anything, she finds herself inside the academy where the three girls regulars study and she meets up with the eldest of the girls and the small girl. they take her in and becomes fast good friends with the resident students. stalker on the other hand is beginning a new with his life by being a friend to the tenant girl even though its plain as daylight that they are only friends. she comes home one day anguished to find that her income for work isnt sufficient enough to supply her with her current necessities as well as a problem arises with the structure of the building, the tenant girl begins to have a new life with her boyfriend as they began to be rekindled and the stalker feels suddenly insignificant again. the hero girl cheers him up, despite the fact that she herself is having problems.]

8[ the landlady receives another notice from the authorities again and is forced to close down the aprtment. she stops the two officers coincidentally the same ones she helped before and said that to give them more time to solve the problem. they agree only for a few days, it started now as a search for someone to help them find a way to improve the place and each tenant that concerned them selves with the matter started trying to make more money for the apartment. but it ends up that the place has been now to unstable, and even though they had money repairs were no longer able to help. the hero girl ends up being the only one desperate enough to find a way and a the same time begins to form a conflict between her will to help and her will to forget of her mother.]

9[ loosing the janitor job, leaving only the cafe she searched for a new job and finds her self working inside the school. she started as first a janitor, learning more about girly-boy and boyish-girls history. small girl finally gave up hoping for her love, eldest girl listens to hero girls problems. Stalker tries to stay away from tenant girl more but found it hard and drove him almost insane, ends up getting caught by the police for harrasing the tenant girl friend. hero girl goes home to find tenant girl friend telling her about stalker. she talks to her about it and tells her she will find a way, problem about her money shortage shows. she visits stalker guy in prison and talks to him, venting alot of her rage at him and as well as making him aware of his problem, she goes home exhausted and accidentally falls off one of the bridge out of fatigue.]

10[ she wakes in eldest girls house, along with freakish guy, she finds the two lives together and further information is cut off. she tells them thank you but gets held because she didn't look well, along with this a sudden accident preferably because of the two kids made the apartments situation worse, breaking alot of the stairs and accidentally ruining the elevator. now the building became inaccesible to the upper floors, an unusual break down of the water tank ensues and short circuits the electricity generator. hero girl shares a little bit about the apartment problem and the eldest girl and freakish guy shares that they can help her with the building ammendments, but news breaks out from outside that the apartment is in trouble. she rushes back with the two and finds that the place is completely in danger, specially of electric fires. boyish-girl and girly-guy comes just in time called over by the eldest and asked to help the people, they do along with other officials. hero girl ends up getting a lot more derpessed but gets helped by the people she befriended and fortunately freakish boy and eldest girls place can hold alot of people so they temporarily stay, hero girls contemplates on her mothers found memories of during her stay in the apratment and proves that the place holds valuable memories and that her mother wanted her to find something.]

who could have thought.

i notice that i myself is a sucker for the idea of the pain of waiting for that loved one to come back type of person. but i don't have anyone to wait, nor any thought of even waiting for... anyone at all nor in particular, that is. except their is this nagging thought in my head that i am waiting for someone to confirm an old thought that has mislead in me on several occasions.

i could never blame my young self for wanting to stick with the idea of friendship being forever, it is, its just that alot of things changes and i don't even want to specify it right now. its too long or to tedious to think of.

the thing is, i know alot of people feel this on so many different levels of reasons, denials, opinions and thought. each one unique on its own, but is it really such a trivial sad and oppressing force to the heart to wait for someone whom your not entirely sure will come back. the chances are pretty slim, but the percentage is still there~

i, in my neutrally labelled opinion. it's neither good nor bad might i explain you why i say so. it's alright to wait for someone, but it will only be fruitful and enjoyable depending on the person. totally unreasonable to say i am not waiting, but i am waiting, for myself to develop into so many levels. for change, but i'd rather let it be unexpected. for every aspect of life that needed consideration, to lazy to type them all.

i could wait, but acting upon other things which can be acted upon is my other opinion as well.

sigh why did i have to think about that anime, it's such a sad story. i forgot the title but its a makoto shinkai one...

HERE HERE I FOUND IT

Voices of a Distant Star

i like this one because its... in a real setup of the whole world... the idea of this waiting... is such a sad thing.

it sucks that i truthfully want the characters to not forget about each other and be together in the end even if the guys like already really old and the girl, with the effect of the light yrs in space, would still look 16.

although it ended with an open-ended story, i don't mind because in my heart it's so wonderful to think that a love even if the aeons of light years in the universe cannot certify them being together (well actually i think it ended the guy chasing after the girl in space lolol couldn't remember the end o...TL but that's what i read in the manga.) i felt their loyalty for each other, it was obvious they were loyally in love with each other.

how beautiful, and vague it was.

note: when i say love it feels like that love of a man and a woman that almost ends up in marriage, well this one seems like that of friendship, but friendship also is a form of love.

annette astatines story(1)

this by far is the most ridiculous yet happy filled drama story, i mean i wanted this story to be with a drama no comedy of sorts, ever thought of. i actually wanted to make this but the feeling whn i thought of the idea seems to not come back to me so i shall leave this idea here and i will in the near future make it.

it's pretty long so here it goes. the first few parts of the story.

1[she first encounters life in the city by just momentarily making her self through it to the place her mother rented for her after her mothers death, meets the aunt, gives her the house rules, makes everything clear and partially gives her a tentative job since she didn't have any. starts the next day moping each floor and having her first morning shift, meets a few residents, mainly two kids who kept on bothering her, a bachelorette who she helps out with some things from the old elivator to her room through the slippery floor. after her shift and a small share of talk with the old man after her, the one who takes after her shift, she goes out to find another job for her other half of the day. get quickly hired by a cafe owner, that takes a liking to her kind attitude with the customers. after getting hired and getting herself known to alot of regulars of the cafe, she goes back to the apartment meeting with an unusually suspiscious guy and a resident girl whom becomes close to her after rescuing her things from being taken away by someone]

2[after a few days she witness' the kids who often disturb her being accused of stealing, she helps them by coincidentally handing over the lost item, that was originally forgotten by the owner. she get scolded and reprimended by the landlady, she takes it lightly and says she wont do it again. she gains the kids respect but still gets treated like an enemy by them. after wards goes to the cafe greeted by the regulars, and the unusual guy from the day before. she sees him oggling on to her close tenant female friend and suspects him of stalking her. after work she gets taken away by her girl friend tenant and taken to a party which she suddenly becomes a hit for being able to take care of the food after the delivery of the food stalls. she gets acquainted to one guy who knew a regular of the cafe that was a girl he hated deeply in school, most regulars were students, but he makes clear about his intentions and even says a few good things about the girl. she goes home with the girl tenant and accidentally brings along the stalker on the way home with them.]

3[the stalker becomes uneasy while the girl tenant becomes irritated, the boyfriend of the girl tenant shows up and brings her to his home. the stalker and the girl goes home together, she makes small talks with him but he snobs her. she goes home contemplating that a few weeks had gone since her mothers death. a tenant of the house has died and the room is now free, thus a new tenant arrives and it shows that it's the stalker dude of the tenant girl freind, he lives differently as he locked doors more often. just recently though the tenant girl feels very threatened as most her items have began getting lost. some of the residents began suspecting her amidst being very helpful but aloof of them. on the other hand a regular of the cafe asked for help as one of the girls, they were three, the small one, asked help on how to approach boys. eventually she didn't know about how to but still helped her by making her work in the cafe asking the owner to let her work for the week.]

4[after wards the thievery at the apartment began to worsen as alot of the female tenants began to loose things. one day while the girl went currently exhausted from monitoring the small girl from work, going home from work, she sees the stalker coming out from one of the windows of the apartment, wondering what it was but dimissed it and went inside just then when she went out to deliver a home made cake by someone from the cafe, a friend perhaps, she sees another person going out of the window apartment. she suddenly wondered what it was and started climbing the ladder out of curiosity. she gets caught and accused of stealing something from the tenant. she says other wise but said that she would accept whatever they were accusing of her off, be cause only to avoid further conflict but she was saved when the two kids found a stolen item from the tenants and claimed it was sold by a man from the corner street. they found the real culprit, while at this the girl friend tenant still hasnt found her things, she suddenly blurts about the stalker guy being one of the guys and they accuse him of stealing but she defends him by saying he must have been searching for the culprit as well since he didn't look very much like a stealer, more of a loner, the girl tenant begins to be kind to the guy because of her and the guy began to talk to her after it.]

5[she returns to work one day and discovers the the boyish girl, one of the three main girl regulars, being pestered by a bunch of people that looked like admirers. along the sideline the guy from the party, the girly-guy, began to pestering the boyish-girl, she responds grunting and walks away. he stays and rants about her situation, she thinks that he likes her and says it bluntly. he refuses but his comrade the freakish guy says behind his back that it was other wise. she smiles at this and suprisngly the next time she asks the boyish girl if she liked the girly-boy and said she did. the girl found it surprising but she suddenly said there lives were differnt and a sceret she couldnt share. she left it as is and didnt ask anything more and said she would help if she can. at the same time the small girl has found her self confused she had confessed and is now in the verge of tearing up for fear of being rejected. she suddenly remembered her life back in the past when she regreted things and said everything can be alright if she allowed it to be even if she got rejected.]

this blog officially became a super story confusing as hell grammatically errored blog entries... just making sure i still found my blog entirely about myself... well yes it is for myself...sheesh...

creatures, creatures and more creatures...

this article is relevantly all about that idea in my head about a world focusing on human kind division... mainly something hybrid... okay it really is confusing at first but originally it's some kind of sci-fi fantasy stuff, where as this world is completely greedy, in knowledge, in propserity, they live in prejudice like its all over the place...

so there were these curious humans, they wanted to be able to crack genetic hybrid-ing like all geneticists want to~ although i do not assume its for a greedy self purpose, let's just say they wanted to do it for the good of the world and not for much about fame. and i don't agree that all geneticist are chimera addicts in crossing human and animal genes, in reality it's just impossible, unless God permits to break the barrier between the human and animal and uh... magical... dna.

anyway these guys made a really stupid discovery about hybriding the three most famous animals in this world, a dog, a bird, and... a dragon... or lizards. (YUP DRAGONS ARE CONSIDERED ANIMALS HAHAHAHAH) so basically these three animals started to begin developing instincts and personalities or uh behaviour not of their own. with such discoveries the world plunged into a deeper and heavier state of greed, although this world was peaceful it was sad that these creations were greedy and twisted and the unstable minds of misunderstandings religions beliefs and life it self. a war broke like a snap of a finger.

the details of the war didn't need to be further given details because basically the war didn't just have two sides, it has five.

the hybrid of the dog, which were labeled as `wolfin's`, these beings retained some aspects of loyalty from their dog sides. but these beings began to be pacifists of sorts, neutral in every manner avoiding any conflict from any being. although like that of the dogs inside them, they seem akin to the human race, often being in better terms than that of the two other hybrids. they are beings in a tight group, they concern themselves greatly with their own kinds better interest in survival. and for the record all of their kind are born females, they live upon a matriarchal way, and live to be hermaphrodites or sort of asexual. basically they can give birth to their own kind by choice. they can live up to 500 yrs, although some die early since they easily get sick. kind of stupid being born physically strong and speedy, with traits that of like dogs, yet they die because of getting sick too much. eventually amongst them, since they are hybrids that were joined between a dogs and humans magical dna, they can morph into humans much easier than that of the three other hybrids. and this is one of the five sides in the war.

the other hybrid included in the war are the `drojin's`, a combination of lizards and humans. basically not much people knew the original looks of drojin's in their animal forms since they are born like mammals, i mean humans, only they spend their time skin covered in they're own birth-membrane (sorry do not know what's it called, too lazy to search for it nom-nom-nom) so they all look pale and smooth on water but a bit wrinkly on dry, though it is only evident in their human forms. they are charming creatures who exude such pretty skins and wonderfully slit shaped eyes that widens with wonder most of the time. they are neutral beings as well although mostly avoided since they are mischievous and at some point cruelly whimsical. they are evidently strong in water but gets pretty useless on land and air. they can only use their animal forms much better on water. basically a sort of patriarchal race, with one male and many females. majority of their kind are females so males are very important to their kind. their are two types of drojins, fresh water and sea water. the sea water kinds are called 'drogiens' with the same pronounciation but diff spelling.

the third member of this olden war consisted of the most dangerous hybrid those scientific pigs has ever created, the 'hexins', generally a hybrid of human and bird. with the majority of their facial traits are humans most of the parts of their body are that of truer combinations of humans and birds., sort of like a bird with a human face. with all their feathers sticking out with long limbed hands and wings stuff. these beings are the most dangerous of the creations, with a thirst for hormonal meat, they feed on the female kind and lay their eggs inside a male human, generally because they appear to have better nutrients fit for a hexin. they can generally produce both egg and sperm, hermaphrodite, inside them but they make nests out of humans treating them like yolks, mostly all 'hexins' are born male but they can generate their own eggs for their mate or for them selves. generally although they may lay eggs like ffree candy for every moment they can take, sadly there is only 1 in a million chance that any of the ten or fifty eggs they lay will live to see daylight, if their is a huge percentage ranging from 1-2% of survival the egg may hatch but the offspring will have to struggle to live. very delicate upon birth, they are not very keen to taking care of their own offsprings nicely so it's really a rule of the strong will survive. they are territorial and very prejudiced specially against 'wolfins' a supposed great conflict between personalities. they are also proud and greatly indulges them selves in the pleasure of hunting and violence, they are lead by each group with a strong leader. strength is always a good thing in their eyes.

(it is rather obvious which breed i have greatly thought off LOL) these are the three extra beings included in the war tons of decades ago prior to the original story or idea caught up in my.

the start of the story goes so:

the world is actually filled with scraps of war, eventually the greater hybrid, the 'hexins', actually had the greater advantage since their savagery are equalled with this unmistakable will power to live. like being born ridiculously strong with a twisted mind for lust and power. mankind actually almost got wiped out because of them and although 'wolfins' had greatfully sided with the humans intent on helping them to fight back, and for their kind to survive, the 'drojins' were all ungreatfully nowhere to be found, plus the ingenuity of machinery. the war ended in a drastic decrease in the scale of the population, humans began to live under ground and the land above is really the most dangerous place in the world already, much more the sky above the ground.

humans have begun to dig tunnels of passages with in the world and have begun to live quite a peaceful life avoiding passing above ground as much as possible, although sometimes it is inevitable since their are some places much wasier accessed above ground than the tunnels below.

the present time consist of our heroes, three friends mainly, a girl who has lived with her parents relatively living near above ground, we shall call her 'tamer', as all her life she has watched her parents study the behavioural aspect of the three hybrids, and she herself seems to have a fondness with the hybrids. her first friend a 'wolfin'a nanny by the name 'straga', she took care of 'tamer'. her best friend a common feisty young girl studying to become a doctor, her profession completely opposite of her skills, lets call her 'weaver'. and 'weaver's boy friend/best friend, a boy from the navigatoral merchant troupe, originally he's just a body guard, lets call him 'shield'.

to start off, originally the underground humans decided to start a fighting force against the 'hexins' of their world. sort of like a boot camp for future military dogs against that certain hybrid. as a form of help for man kind and a soldiers heart to help, the three friends joined the force. being recruited for any type of skill is sort of what most of the organization did, but they required all of their members to be skilled in combat.

'weaver' and 'tamer' had to train them selves well with the help of 'shield' before the real start of the journey, which began on the first mission of 'tamer', she was pretty much held back because of an accident she had a few days prior to 'weaver's very first mission along side 'shield'. the three friends were jolly well glad 'tamer' had finally begun her first mission, and a plus since the two were in it, sort of like helping her or guiding her. 'tamer' although her name may imply as such she is weak and only good at thinking is a good fighter, better than that of 'weaver' even though she got a mission first, but 'tamer' is too kind. her notion of being fond of hybrids, because of 'straga', seems to apply to any type of hybrid. so as to prepare herself she tried to train her mentality by toughening it up and training with 'straga's kind. the accident concerned her inability to kill a 'hexin'.

(so yeah back to the present LOL) the mission was a pretty dangerous one. it was retrieval of victims. a certain route on the upper ground, that should have been safe and undetected by 'hexins' were attacked a few days ago. eventually an important person was part of the group and he was needed to be rescued. some sort of researcher with an important discovery about 'hexins'.

so they went to the location to search the area, with as much stealthy ness as possible. 'weaver', 'tamer' and 'shield', since they are new trainees, get themselves into an area for look out. sort of a few blocks away from the site of the attack. evidently not much 'hexins' are present in the site, except for dead ones. it seems like two groups of hexins exist within the area and had a battle to the death because of the territory conflict. so now they were set off to make sure that the group of humans are still safe, or at least only the researcher.

'weaver' was a sort of curious git to begin with as she strayed to a location near the very border line of the territories of both 'hexins' group. the two had no choice but to follow her leaving their look out a bit open. they stumble upon a part of the group that were all used as nesting grounds, mainly filled with dead pregnant bellied men. around the areas were the scattered bones of the women with in the group, sort of a really tragic scene for 'tamer', and surprisingly for 'weaver' her self. 'shield' on the other hand felt disgusted by this practice of the 'hexins' and currently he is the only person in that group now thats the only one in painful perill.

'tamer' checked the bodies of the men they found, looking to see if the eggs will hatch soon. unluckily there was a nearby 'hexin' prancing around, sort of left as a guard for the next. evidently it attacked the unsuspecting 'tamer', luckily 'straga' followed them behind and protected her with her ballin fangs. but the are seemed to be an unstable place and the floor collapsed on another concrete floor under. 'weaver' and 'shield' had to run for cover just to be safe, but had no chance of saving 'tamer' and 'straga', eventually it did some good as it killed the eggs along with the humans with it sadly.

the two couldn't tell if she was still alive along with 'straga' so they resolved to ask help promising with a shout to the under ground uncertainity to come back with help. while in the dark hole 'tamer' tried struggling to keep her self balanced under the unconscious wounded 'hexins' and a dangerous rock under her. 'straga' tried helping but her legs were trapped under a rock rendering it useless. although 'tamer' is completely alright she couldn't help but feel out of breath from the weight of the bird.

she suceeded in getting her self out and poised her self to retreat but found her self kind of worrying for the 'hexin', with resolve she quickly helped 'straga' first laying her down on a place far away from the reach of the bird and treated her wounds as best as possible. after treating her nanys wounds, she let her rest and went to the 'hexin', she was actually warned by her nany 'wolfin' not to go but she said she would be careful.

upon arrival she had found that the 'hexin' has begun to wake but it seemed weak and sort of dazed from the fall. she could guess if the bird was alright if she could check the wound on its head but it was better if she treated him with a fair distance from the sharp teeths so she treated his neck wounds where 'straga' bit him. she patched it up with a spare cloth whats left from 'straga's then made sure if it continued to bleed, it did but the salve she placed on it made quite the swelling gone. she made sure to look every now and then if the 'hexin' would react but it laid motionless letting her heal him.

she found it quite nice of him to let her heal him so she continued to check if their were other wounds and treated them until her healing salve had been diminished. when she had finished monitoring and was about to return back to 'straga' when she suddenly found her self face to face with the 'hexins'. she was surprised that although it has such an enormous birds body its face looked like that of a human, it's size as well didn't differ from the size of her face. it felt like for some reason the 'hexin' itself is the same age as her. she avoided looking in its eyes as it was an evident sign of a challenge so she averted it around its face and saw the bleeding bump on its head.

she pulled out her salve and finished its contents on its bleeding bump, she made sure it was well placed before trying her best to leave. but it seems like the 'hexin' was playing with her as he swayed his head to the direction where ever she was heading blocking her way, even stopping her with his wings. she was trapped by the 'hexin', she tried her best not to look at his eyes but found herself looking at it.to her surprise what looked back were human eyes, she could have never guessed that she is the first human ever to see a 'hexin' this close, it's eyes are different colours. deep rose and yellow green, she kind of liked the yellow green tint and without noticing herself she reached her hands out to tap the yellow green eyes.

in the blink of an eye the 'hexin' bit her, she felt the pain of his jaws. but she also felt it was not that very deep, she kept her self from shrieking before the 'hexin' unhinged its jaws from her and started licking her wounds. she felt a slow comfort with the way the 'hexin' licked her, when the 'hexin' had finished. her wounds are completely healed. it felt like the conception of 'hexins' to be savage and violent seemed to disappear.

and thus started the first part of how she met her 'hexin' who in the end became the first ever hexin to succesfully transform itself in the likeness of a human for it's desire to be together with the young girl 'tamer'.

how do you ponder your own thoughts

no i just typed in the title, it clearly has nothing to do with this update again with my life... i personally forgot what ever i was supposed to type here... but oh well...

lets just put this in account that somewhere out there in this universe someone is going to read this... i think...

so here i put this random story thought, or something (let me just think about it)

OH here's one... i just thought of this a few days ago, its about my thought about music boxes... its in my post somewhere in plurk... aaaaaaaaaaaand yeah found it and here it is...

musicbox tune~~ i wonder if being a music box note (you know that one round thing inside a music box) thingie seller would feel like...

lolol but here is the general idea of it... you know music boxes... with all those mechanical things in them, gears, thingama-bob things, and that... *researches about the parts of a music box... okay not much said except for the steel comb* cylinder and those steel combs that gets plucked to produce music...

the idea was, what if in those days someone had some ingenius balls to invent a way to keep the music box intact and make the cylinder in the middle interchangable to whatever kind of piece you want to listen to... yeh yeh... get it? no? yes??

hahaha it might be fun to do that and then suddenly like a stop watch time stands still and all the famous fad of today weren't that famous and succesful as those interchangable cylinder things in the music box and that music boxes has ever since been a thing of this world... without those wonderful and simplistic music no one had the brains to maintain focused and sane... lol sorry making it way too complicated an idea... no, no i just came up with this one...

the real one is actually:

what if music boxes became a famous hobby like collectible with a new design that interchanges the cylinder in the middle, the design would be slicker and the cylinders would be replaced by very unbreakable sheets with protruding pins like those of its predecessor cylinders, but its use are just the same as its predecessor... pluck the steel comb to prodruce those wonderful sounds you hear when ever you listen to them...

its not very original and its not even innovative... but the idea of making them makes me want to think of a slice of life/drama like story, with a steampunk type of era, of "the only" maker of the music sheets of the music box in the whole world and that suprisingly alot of rich hobbyist comes to him to make those kinds of things and that since he has been focusing soo much in making those things, his whole heart and soul in ever music box he makes and every sheet he sells, that he forgets about the rest of the world...

he is kind and has brought simple happiness to alot of his customers but he himself feels quite happy and lonely... so one day he decides to take up an apprentice, having an apprentice that makes music boxes and its sheets are pretty hard and for fear that his profession and the world of music boxes would some day disappear his only option was to adopt...

so he adopts a boy he see's potential in... eventually this boy is quite skilled and at first he gives his heart to working with the man, but as years passed by when he grows up to the age of point where all kids think of the future he felt a small tug in his heart that he doesn't belong in making those music boxes and sheets...

on a side note, at the same time the man adopted the boy, he was also forced to adopt a girl so withdrawn but a pretty much reliable girl, it was the boys twin... but as a twin she has exactly the opposite things the boy has... at some point , though secretly this girl knows much things, even skills much more appropriate to make those music boxes... but since her heart was for to support her brother in her promise to their father to take care of him, since she seems to be the older of the twins by a few hours, she focused on being beside her brother helping him at times and watching him work she saw that he would have a good future being the apprentice of this man and some day would replace him...

the man pretty much is unaware of the boys sudden change of heart in making music boxes as he is blinded by the fact that this young man will succeed to make the music boxes, all he did care was the world of music boxes not fading... although he never mistreats the girl he never saw her as a potential successor... but he is also fond of her, being a nice girl witty and helpful in the house...

everything changed when the boy ran away with one of the mans customers children, the twin sister finds this romantic unnecessary and stupid... the man was heartbroken for quite some time also he is also reaching the a point of his body where he couldn't stand making any more of the parts, his eye sight strains faster... so instead the girl took her brothers place, even though she was a girl, at first she wasn't accepted well since at an unknown history all the predecessor of the man are all men he was kind of skeptical

but they had no choice he needed someone to replace him soon, the girl at first stands to people dressed up as men so that the man wouldn't be criticized socially and to avoid any harmful gossip to him... but eventually with the help of some of her friends, which she acquired like her brother did with his lover, some of the children of the customers, she gains customers of her own and seems to acquire some curious rivalry with the branch of the man and her own...

she made seperate music boxes and sheets for her friends, and some used this to advertise her skills as a woman... the man wasn't aware of this at first but he soon grew suspicious of the girls actions, even though the girl pretty much didn't care or wasn't aware of her friends help since it seems like her friends are marketers of her skills...

soon enough she began to wear her self out into making music boxes, she actually enjoyed making them enthusiastic infact, but it seems just like the man, it told into her health... but her will was as strong as his (the man) that she eventually over comes her fatigue and succeeds in making customers happy...

on a side note her brother keeps in touch with her sisters progress through her friends and it seems he has grown guilty of his own selfishness that at certain times he felt like going back to them, specially since he has trouble making a living with various jobs he isn't often used to doing...

on a random occurrence since, like an artist block, she felt like not working so she declared a two day off, much to the exasperation and amusement of the man... so they bond like a father and daughter for the rest of the time of the first day... that was when the man realized how the girl and he were the same in a way... except that for the girl she knew how to value a rest while the man was to zealous about his love that he found no time to look up and see things around him...

he tells her many stories about himself, broken lives, his fears, his first loves, his broken hearts, the hearts he broke... all in that one day she listened intently about himself that she nor her brother never knew... and the only comment she told him in the end

"phew, and i thought your like a super god of music boxes only caring for them. i thought your just kidding and that you loosing your sight was something of a joke in trend to being a human... but, i was wrong. you are human, that makes me feel relieved to know. at least i know me and my brothers touched a heart that grows, my father once told me when i was young, living is good. survive with less fears given and more fought against, but never ever NOT try being a part of ones heart.

i guess when he said that... he lied since he left us, back then. but now it's true... i guess he was telling the truth."

the man saw that true as well in the case of the twins... and he was happy. it felt like for the first time, even though he was always behind those spectacles that helps him make those music boxes and sheets, he was aware of the things around him. he was with the rest of the world.

in the end of that day he settled finally by saying after his long rest... of teaching them, her and her brother, it was time he stood back up his shop to make music boxes and that now and until the end of his days he should make music boxes because that is what he loves. the girl supports him faithfully and tells him and if he one day leaves this world she will completely be in his stead in making those music boxes... but

"don't leave yet... i mean come on. *pause* brother has not yet said his sorry and... i still need you here master."

her next day were filled with writing letters to her friends and, at some point she knew, to her brother... eventually the news her brother receives from her friends were all actually coming from her, letters she herself wrote. she didn't bear any grudge to her brother but out of goodwill she hoped he would come back and that finally after the day she spent with the man she resolved in writing a letter to her brother requesting him to come back.

eventually the circumstance about the mystery rival of the mans music box was settled by introducing the real maker which is the girl and she boldly announced that she is stepping in as a maker of music boxes and sheets, but not as a replacement of the man... because to her point of view he still made good music boxes, and despite some mild lax in his reclining senses he has the will and heart to make them still. as beautiful as he did with enthusiasm in his eyes the first time he made his debut back then when he was younger.

while she will make her own name... among the people many are surprised by her bold move, many applauded, supported, mildly doubted or simply doubt her... but in her eyes all she could care was the upcoming future of the few seconds that will come, of the everyday from then on.

all goes well at least, her brother received her letter and found the courage to come back, along with his now growing family of five and a half. staying in the house meant a good lot of change for the man as he happily shrugged at accepting the boys family. the girl was ecstatic since now she's got tiny nephews and nieces to occupy some of her time and gladly welcomed her brother and his wife.

he resolved in helping at the shop of the old man, while the girl has her own seperate shop.

this might be a little unnecessary for the flow of the story itself but secretly, the girl loved the man, not just like a father. but her love she was sure wouldn't ever be reciprocated as anything more but a love of a mere girl and that in the end her resolve to be amongst the people she love, she was happy enough.


so in the end every thing was like a tiny positive happy go lucky bring me inspiration story, eventually i couldn't bare to make the old man and the girl be a couple, but i truly want to and actually is thinking of making them have a child and that child will be the true successor but oh well~~

the end