it always is... i mean if i wanted to cry... i would have cried but i can't i don't know why... i feel so crazily confused of things right now... it's amusing hahahaha i know theres something wrong but the way i cope with it involves just letting me habitually go crazy happy over things... its messy shit... i know it's all confusing un-confident thoughts... its all jumbled up into ulterior wires of sorts and i'm not even helping to untangle it... theres something disturbing inside of me, am i excited, am i supposed to be saddened, intimidated, angry, jealous, mainly i would be confused... i mean really confused and tired of it... it's just really unfair if you look at it but what why how should i keep on being a darned alive person...
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